Ruben Lurke was a happy man. Well, as happy as a man shuffling further into his sixties with a dodgy prostate could be. He had his beautiful wife, he had his wonderful home, and he had his beloved model shop. It never occurred to the man that it was a miracle that his shop, which…
Wolfgang Armitage stared at his desk with no small amount of satisfaction. It had taken the better part of a month, but it was finally clear. All the names and details were in the system, and the matrix was completing its calculations that very minute. By the end of the day the newest couples would…
“What’s going on?” Sidney asked, climbing into the passenger seat. He popped open the glove compartment and pulled out a packet of mints. These would have to serve as his breakfast, he thought. “A bloke got into a car crash and the boss wants us to find out who he is,” Ozzie explained. Sid frowned.…
What if I told you not to think of a pink elephant? That’s right. You’re thinking about it right now, aren’t you? Funny how it works, isn’t it? The urge to disobey must be wired in us from birth. I tell you not to think of a pink elephant, and instantly the image pops into…
Anton Burleski died on April 23rd at the age of ninety-three. There was no outpouring of grief; his name did not trend on Twitter; he was barely mentioned on that evening’s news. He was the greatest filmmaker of the twentieth century. When Jonah Punt read the news, he was crestfallen. How many hours, he wondered,…
The New Arrival “Careful! Careful!” “Lift his legs higher! Bloody Hell!” “Mind his head!” “Mind the carpet!” “Just dump him down already!” The man was dropped onto the bed like an overfilled bag of groceries. Ozzie wiped the sweat from his forehead, whilst Ruben leaned against the wall, fighting to get his breath back. Millicent…
The woman slapped her hands onto the glass and fixed him a wild rictus of a grin. “Kevin!” she yelled; her voice muffled behind the window. Kevin stared, bereft of words. Before he could recover, the woman had bounced away, run around the building, and then burst into the café. In a matter of seconds,…
“Sherry?” “No. Thank you,” the inspector said, giving the bottle a dark look. “Yes, I suppose it is a bit early.” In spite of this, Jeremy still poured himself a generous measure. “How serious do you believe the threat to be?” The young Mr Loughton’s eyes boggled. “The car mounted the curb!” he exclaimed, draining…
“Just there.” Once he was in the desired seat, the supervisor gave him a long, furious glare, just daring him to move. She then hurried back up the aisle. Peter gave a small sigh of relief. It didn’t matter who the person was, once you put a clipboard into their hands, they instantly became a…
The door could have held back an army. It was thicker than the hull of her ship, and the central lock was twice the size of Helene’s head. Passing through it, she felt her unease only grow. Inside was no better. The room was entirely bare. The walls and floor a matching metallic grey, and…
Amusing Musings 